A gift from beyond the grave?

Do you have an unused gift or recently discovered present from your lost loved one?

Around a year or so before Mum died, she bought me a gift and it's sat unused on my shelf until the other month. It's a book, The Shack, and quite honestly I just couldn’t bear to pick it up until now.

Why? Guilt, because I'd never used it while she was alive. Fear, because the subject matter was religious and about death. Evasion, because it would bring up emotional baggage that I wasn’t ready to face again.

It’s taken me about two months to read it, as I'd pick it up and put it down in chunks of about three pages max. Bits here and there resonated with my own situation and I would well up, stop reading and take the opportunity to reflect with a little cry.

And then I began to wonder: was I supposed to read this now? Not when she was alive and I sure was going through tough times, but was supported by her. But now, years after she’s gone and times are easier, but I still question many things.

Anyone who has lost someone will probably have some kind of sticking point in their minds and hearts that they just can’t seem to make peace with. I have one in particular that I have some way to go to resolve.

I have talked about it amongst other things in various bouts of counselling, but it remains… And then I read this book and that specific topic is covered, in such a loving, gentle way... and man did I cry. I’m a spiritually open but not religious person, so struggled a bit with the book. But it has been nice to read something that helped my lovely mum make her own journey over to her God, just in time for her passing. Mainly I like to think that things like this book helped make her other transition - into death - a bit easier for her too.

If you, like me, have a gift knocking about that you haven’t used or even discovered yet, don’t be afraid of it. You’ll know when the time is right for you to open that wound to clean it properly, but just remember it could be the gift from beyond the grave you were waiting for.