First steps in counselling

It’s been a while since this adult orphan posted anywhere other than on Instagram. But I have not been resting on my laurels. Far from. Currently seven weeks into a ten-week Introduction to Counselling Skills course, I’ve been studying, learning new skills and carrying out some deep reflection. It’s only once a week, so on the surface it doesn’t seem like much, but it’s pretty intense to be honest!

So why take the course? Three reasons:

1) Listening skills are something everybody should learn. Not ‘yeah, yeah, I’m listening’ but real listening. Listening where the speaker feels so heard that they talk and you don’t even need to ask questions. Real listening is a skill that needs to be learned, I don’t think it comes naturally to many people, me included. I want to help people and may go onto levels three and four over the next decade to become a certified counsellor. Undecided at the mo, but next stop is volunteering for Cruse’s free bereavement care (the charity which helped me out massively).

2) Mum trained to become a counsellor. She did so well, I was so proud of her. It’s a long ole process and requires a huge commitment. Sadly as she neared the end of the course they introduced another hoop to jump through requiring more years and more money. It was just too much and she didn’t go on to that next level. But I know how much she gained from the study and the practice. New skills, new understanding of herself, new friends (one of which I see today as my own friend). As I sit and learn the theory or practise the skills in our ‘triads’, I picture mum doing the same. It’s nice following in her footsteps.

3) I believe we should never, ever stop learning. Lifelong learning should only stop when we're dead. It doesn’t have to be classroom-based - pick up a book, do a free online course, or download a language app before heading off on the next holibobs.

Will report back at the end of the course with my key learnings, but in the meantime I leave you with this:

Once a day this week, when someone talks to you about something important (it doesn’t have to be big but something meaningful) really listen to them. Demonstrate 'SOLER' active listening skills to make them feel heard. Sit squarely with open body language, lean forward, maintain eye contact and have a relaxed posture. Well-placed (and real) nods and minimal verbal encouragers ('uh-huh’ etc) also work, and most importantly, don’t interrupt or end their speaking prematurely with your own interventions.